This week I have been asked to reflect on the Parable of the prodigal Son-in reality this story should be known as the Forgiving Father. In this story we have 3 characters but I want to focus on two:
The younger son who takes his possessions, asks for what is his, and goes off to make his own fortune. The story is told through the lens of that culture, which the son, by asking for his inheritance before his father’s passing on means that he, has no intention of returning.
Then we are told of The Father who represents our loving God, who when his son asks for what is his, gives it to him even knowing that his son’s intention is to never come back. He knows his son is asking for independence. He knows that his son doesn’t realize what he is asking for, and gives it to him anyway.
What happens? The son eventually realizes that he has lost everything. The story doesn’t go into detail, because a parable is not meant to be rich in details, but the richness is in the meaning. What meaning does it have for us to understand that when we go off to try to do things on our own, we end up losing?
Personally, I can share that I have been that son who thinks he doesn’t need his father. I walked away from God, thinking that I can get what I need from my work, from my family or friends, even from my husband. I realized eventually, that if I am not in a relationship with God, all of those things are just distractions. Those distractions create more distractions. I have approached God with an attitude of what I could “get” from him. We live in a culture where what is valuable is what we “get”, what we acquire, what we work for. The lesson in this story is that those things that we go after are not what God has in mind for us.
God gave us his Son, who willing gave up everything in order to do God’s will. Some days I am very aware of my cross-I feel overwhelmed by financial obligations, by work commitments, by goals that I have set for myself…..and I realize when I am in prayer; this is not what God wants of me-to be a fool running around, no sense of time, no sense of who I am. He wants me to be whole, and so I have to give it all up. Every day when I wake up God asks me to give him everything: my kids, my husband, my life. This is not easy…. the more I know this, the more I need to talk to God and listen to what he is asking of me.
This morning was a very tough for me. My family is going through some very difficult problems. After spending the morning consulting experts on the matters that I am struggling with, I took a detour and ended up at a prayer garden. This prayer garden was very peaceful; there was a meandering path, and shade trees, nooks to meditate in the beauty of a natural park. What struck me was that this prayer garden was actually a path for praying the Stations of the Cross. God led me straight to His cross. Now, my family prays this meditative prayer every Lent, usually on Fridays. It is a wonderful way to reflect on the mystery of Christ’s passion story-that Jesus, who was a man as well as divine, suffered for our sins -he willingly carried his cross all the way up to the hill where he was cruelly murdered. He did that for me, and for you!
As I walked into this park I encountered the first station, where there was a beautiful, large sculpture, carved out of white rock, it presented me the image of Jesus being handed his cross. I encountered this mystery through this artwork and realized that without knowing the prayer by memory, I was beginning to understand this experience in a very deep and new way. I understood that I too have to willingly take my cross, to plunge into my situation head on, to accept what comes my way, whether I deserve it or not. I can’t try to hide from my problems, or numb myself through alcohol or eating or shopping or smoking or mindless TV watching…or whatever else.......no I must accept it. Then I continued to walk this path and I ended up in a smaller path where I encountered the 4th station. Here I saw Jesus falling under the weight of the cross….this is how I felt at that moment. I didn’t think I could bear this problem….tears came to my eyes, because as I scanned the park I saw how much more Jesus endured for me…..I was only at the 4th station and yet, he didn’t give up then. In fact, I noticed that there were people around him who were helping him carry this cross. I thought of the people in my life that God has been sending me lately to give me a good word, or have prepared a meal, or gave a ride to my son to a soccer game, or have prayed for me. I realized that my father in heaven sent those people to me; these are the people who are helping me carry my cross. The faith of these people is the faith that is sustaining me. I wondered, was Jesus also feeling like he couldn’t carry this cross any longer? Did these people who appeared not just give him physical assistance, but also spiritual and mental strength? Jesus knew he had to keep going. I know I have to keep going too. This station was encouraging me to accept my cross with faith.
After walking this tranquil path, I came to the end….the final station which is where Jesus is being taken from the Cross and only a few friends are there left with him. Almost everyone had abandoned him, but God never did. His mother and his closest friend John were still there. I think about my life….who has stuck by me through thick and thin? These people were my church! They are the ones who love me even when I have nothing left…. Nothing at all….and yet, they don’t see through the lens of the world; they see that in reality, I may have something very powerful, something very valuable, I may have a purified heart. Why is my heart pure? Because by giving it all away I may gain something better, I have God’s love and mercy. I can’t cling to things I can acquire….in giving up the material stuff, my power, my ego, my obsessions, my distractions, I find that God gives me something much more meaningful and important for me.
As I reflected on this thought, that God is asking me to do what Jesus did, to follow him by letting go of everything and everyone, I too will find peace. At the end of that walk, I ended up in a chapel where the Blessed Sacrament was exposed and there was a group of ladies there in adoration. At first I wanted to stay hidden from the Blessed Sacrament, but soon I knew I needed to get closer. I had to talk to Jesus….I had to plunge into the mystery of what is he asking me to do. My tears felt like a cleansing. I sat there in front of the tabernacle and heard these words: “Are you willing to let go so I can give you something better?”
This question was like a break through…..God is telling me to trust in him. Can I really trust in him? I claim to be a Christian, someone who is a follower, a disciple of Jesus…this is where the rubber hits the road. Darn it, I thought to myself, I have been in denial! Look at all the stupid things I have said, not said, done, not done…..pretending to be someone I am not. God is saying to me-let go Carmen. Let it all go. I can’t Lord, I have a lot of good reasons why I can’t. So did Jesus, by gosh, he was just starting his ministry, he was just organizing his church, he had so many more people to save. Yet, God had a different plan. Jesus was willing to struggle through what God had placed before him and let it all go and in doing so God has left me and you with his church and his gifts which are the sacraments. I so easily continue to walk away from it, and yet, God continues to call me back. God wants you back.
Why do we go to church? Do we go to “get” something? Or because we want to let go? By bringing our kids to the church for the sacraments are we teaching them that we can “get” confession, or "get" communion….or that we are called by God to reach deep inside ourselves, be true to ourselves, and before a priest, who is representing Christ, be able to say “I am sorry I haven’t been able to let go….help me! Heal me!” He wants us to have enough trust in Him that whatever our cross is that we may be carrying, He will not abandon us! He sustains us through his church, through his sacrament of Eucharist. These are the gifts that through Jesus God has given us ….He did not abandon us! My lesson today, as I left the chapel was that I need to go live my life today knowing this-that we, as followers of Jesus, are called to be joyful people. We can be joyful and hopeful even in the midst of our heaviest cross, because God is a forgiving father who waits for us in his sacraments and in his church. Let’s teach our kids how to run to meet him too!
Reflect:
What is God asking you to let go of?
