Just went through the Confirmation process in my parish. It was a beautiful ceremony where 103 were confirmed into the Catholic faith. We worked hard throughout this year to 'gather, nourish and send' those who came to our workshops, sessions, retreats in order to “get” confirmed. I met with many families and heard wonderful faith stories that led them to our church asking for Confirmation of their faith. The process began for our community last fall.
At some point along this roughly half a year journey we look for some indicators that the candidate is not in this just to “get” but to “become”. Becoming a fully initiated Catholic is not the most popular thing to do. Let’s face it! Christianity in general is looked upon as old-fashioned in today’s 'instantaneous' modern society where convenience and efficiency is preferred, and tradition, process and ritual are rejected in a world where many people strive for a cool identity. Along these past few months we exposed our candidates to a radical view of the world and of ourselves. We explored what it means to be catholic and Catholic….which may not look like what we see most of the time. Catholic means believing in a sacramental view of our world. It means believing that Jesus saved us from our sins by dying on a cross and by resurrecting, he has assured us of our own resurrection. We are called to be a people who re-member and who celebrate. We are called to repent, to forgive, to be hopeful. We are called to be servants. It means believing that we are called to be imitators of him.
We confront the reality of becoming a disciple and as “adults” we have the ability to choose. Our candidates learned to honestly ask themselves “Is this the person that I want to follow?” It pains us when some choose to wait, or decide no. It’s ok if they’re not ready, we don’t push them. Everyone’s faith journey is unique. We should not judge or compare them with others. We should continue to be welcoming and loving to those who decide this is not the time to commit.
So last Saturday, I sat in the pew with my candidate, I felt the reverence in the sacred space and the nervous energy of those who assembled that morning, waiting for the moment when the Bishop anointed them with the Oil of Chrism and doing so with authority of the Church of Rome, welcomed them into the Church. I thought of those few who decided to wait. This was not their moment. I prayed for them and I knew that it’s ok. Their absence is a challenge to us as community that we need to accept one another wherever we are along this journey of faith. We love them no less, God loves them no less,….we realize that passing on our faith means to share our own struggles in our faith. We need to learn to constantly discern our personal relationship with God. We need to ask ourselves “Is Jesus Christ the person that I want to commit to?”
Being a fully initiated Catholic, I wrestle with this question at times, but I realize that the struggle is not with Jesus, it is with me. Because being Catholic means accepting the dark times in my life, the times when I have doubted God’s existence for example, in order to find wonder in the light of Christ. The times when I have doubted, I have been blessed to find that God never left my side at all!
Mother Theresa wrote about this kind of spiritual struggle in her letters to her confessor. They were made public a short time ago. I think that her words remind us that being Catholic is not about how we feel about being a follower of Christ.
“Where is my Faith — even deep down right in there is nothing, but emptiness & darkness — My God — how painful is this unknown pain — I have no Faith — I dare not utter the words & thoughts that crowd in my heart — & make me suffer untold agony”.
Read more: http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1655415-3,00.html#ixzz1FxgTp4mF
Being Catholic is not about “feeling” Catholic, it is about believing in and committing myself to Jesus, in spite of who I am, in spite of my struggles. This person, Jesus, that we follow is always available to us, even if we don’t feel his presence-this makes being Catholic less popular but, oh, such a powerful way to live!
