A special family

 

Walking through the back lot of the church today, after celebrating our beautiful Mass, and after a few hours of religious studies, my son and I were leisurely  moving towards our car in silence when I spotted a boy about ten years old trailing his parents as they went into the church building for the afternoon celebration of Holy Mass.

This boy was wearing attire that I thought more appropriate for the pool side; sloppy and wrinkled cotton shorts, a big oversized T-shirt and flip flops that he shuffled on his bare feet. As a mother, I thought, what parent would allow their child to go to church in this attire? As Director of Faith Formation I thought, what family catechesis I would need to do in order to address this issue in the future.

I asked my son, “Zac, see that boy going into church? What do you think of what he is wearing?” I was expecting him to say to me what I so often say to him….. “Those aren’t church clothes. He shouldn’t wear that to Mass”. It was my test to see if he was going to have the “right answer” after all my years of drilling that into him.

Instead he said softly and thoughtfully, “Mom, at least he is going to Mass with his family”.

This made me stop and think. He didn’t have the right answer, according to me….but perhaps  he had the right answer according to Jesus. My son, without hesitation was accepting this boy and his family exactly where they are in their faith journey. Where I went straight to judgment and concern for the physical appearance, my son went straight to the place of the heart and acceptance.

I think most would agree, it is important what we wear and how we present ourselves to others in all areas of society. We wouldn’t go to the office wearing cutoff shorts and a scruffy t-shirt. We wouldn’t go to the Mall in our PJ’s. When we go to someplace really special, we usually take more time in selecting our wardrobe. Well, at least most people do. The celebration of the Mass is no exception. Catholics believe that when we gather for worship it involves all of our being….our spiritual and physical preparation matters.  Most of us have the ability to know and practice this because we accept this as part of living in a cultured society where norms exist. 

Yet I hear my son’s words and they resonate in my heart. What he said so humbly IS true too. We must accept people where they are, we must not judge others.

I thought of the Gospel reading from the book of Mark today, where a part of what we heard says:

Then he (Jesus) sat down, called the Twelve, and said to them,
"If anyone wishes to be first,
he shall be the last of all and the servant of all."
Taking a child, he placed it in the their midst,
and putting his arms around it, he said to them,
"Whoever receives one child such as this in my name, receives me;
and whoever receives me,
receives not me but the One who sent me."

Jesus is teaching us to value everyone, no matter their status or education or class or faith experience. The child in the early Jewish culture was “no one” to society. They were not productive citizens yet, they were like servants. In fact, the Aramaic word for child and servant is the same.  When Jesus put his arm around that child I visualize him holding the child in a way that emphasized, “Here is someone special”. This was radical to those he was speaking to in his time.  He was teaching his disciples a new way of seeing. He wants us to have new attitude; the kind of attitude that allows us to accept the cross and his death on it, as part of our salvation.  This is what Jesus does; he challenges us to transform our minds and see the good in what may not seem logical or may not meet our own or even society’s expectations.

 

My son showed me today, as we strolled along the hot asphalt that to listen to God’s word means to put it into action. If I am to be a disciple, I shouldn’t criticize so quickly, I should look beyond the obvious, that  family I observed was not just any family they are a very special family. My son saw Jesus and his parents walking to the temple. I need to learn to see with my heart first, like Zac does.

Jesus did have a bride!

You might have heard the news….Jesus had a wife!  Well, that is not really news, as many over the last 2000 years have tried to make the case of Jesus and Mary Magdalene for example, as well as other versions of this kind of story.  What IS news,  is the discovery of a piece of papyrus, smaller than a typical business card, where the following phrase is noted “Jesus said to them,  ‘my wife’ “.

Even though the actual historian, Dr. Karen King, has noted not to take this as proof of anything, this news was circulated by the media as proof positive that Jesus was married.

A news article I read this morning points to this discovery as a challenge to the ongoing debate of Catholic Church on the issues of religious celibacy. As though this finding could actually be the linchpin that will  unravel the theological understanding of whether a woman could be a priest.  Very naïve!

But here’s where the author of this article and many other news media have failed in their “reporting” –most have fallen short of telling the whole story.  Here it is: Jesus DID have a wife!  Catholics and most Christian churches understand this phrase to mean the wife, or the spouse, as God’s people! 

Ancient depiction of the Royal Couple:
Jesus and his Church, as his Bride

So, let’s not get carried away. Let’s learn to study our faith. Let’s read our scriptures, starting with Song of Solomon (Song of Songs). As Pope B16 noted in his encyclical Deus Caritas Est (2006), this ancient Hebraic book can be interpreted and understood literally and allegorically, pointing out the two halves of true love: The agape love which is a self-giving love and the eros love which receives. In  Song of Songs, we understand Christ, the Messiah, whom God will send, as the lover.  What a beautiful and human way in which God can express his love for us.  Here is one of my favorite verses:

“Thou art all fair, O my love, and there is not a spot in thee. Come from Libanus, my spouse, come from Libanus, come: thou shalt be crowned from the top of Amana, from the top of Sanir and Hermon, from the dens of the lions, from the mountains of the leopards.  Thou hast wounded my heart, my sister, my spouse, thou hast wounded my heart with one of thy eyes, and with one hair of thy neck.”

The Church, from the very beginning has understood the references Jesus made to his Church, as being his bride. Jesus used many parables to illustrate. Check out:  John 3:29, Matthew 25: 1-13, Mark 2:19, Luke 5:34, and finally we read in Revelation 21: 9……

“And there came one of the seven angels, who had the vials full of the seven last plagues, and spoke with me, saying: Come, and I will shew thee the bride, the wife of the Lamb.”

This little discovery, in my mind only affirms what I understand from Holy Scriptures: an integral teaching in Catholic understanding; as us the Church, as the true spouse of Jesus.  Yes, he did have a wife and it is us!

3 fathers and my vote

I find myself grimacing and flinching at all the online headline news and talking heads on TV who spin and bend ideology into so many directions and shapes.  I purposely have avoided joining the debate among social media sites or watching political news shows because the reality is that most aren’t putting forth engaging arguments, each side has a bias and is willing to bash the other viewpoint in order to give credance to their view.

Regardless, I am thankful for the freedom that my government  affords us all the priviledge to engage in all these types of conversations, no matter how ridiculous and mean spirited they may become.

What is unsettling is I that I have to work really hard to uncover the truth, I research credible news sites (not many), I listen to arguments by individuals who have proven to me to have values that are in common to my own as well as to other individuals whom I respect whose values are not in line with mine, but their reasoning skills are well developed. 

Ultimately, as I reflect on the candidates running for US president I am drawn to my Catholic consience engrained in me by my Catholic practicing parents and the Catholic nuns and teachers at the schools attended.  In reflecting I realized that three fathers have shaped this process in which I am currently undertaking.

My first resource that has formed how I think was developed by St. Benedict of Nursia in the early 4^th century.  He is known as the Father of the Western Monasticm and developed a set of rules that helped create the early Christian communities for religious orders.  Still so relevant today! Here is a nice reflection on St. Benedict's values:

Awareness of God

To look for God in the ordinary events of each day.
"We believe that the divine presence is everywhere." Rule of Benedict 19.1

Community Living

To become who we are by our relationships with others.
"Let all things be common to all." Rule of Benedict 33.6

Dignity of work

To appreciate the dignity of work in God's creation.
"...they live by the labor of their hands." Rule of Benedict 48.8

Hospitality

To offer warmth, acceptance, and joy in welcoming others.
"Let all...be received as Christ." Rule of Benedict 53.1

Justice

To work toward a just order in our immediate environment and in the larger society.
"...that in all things may God be glorified." Rule of Benedict 57.9

Listening

To hear keenly and sensitively the voices of persons and all created beings.
"Listen...with the ear of your heart." Rule of Benedict Prologue 1

Moderation

To be content with living simply and finding balance in work, prayer, and leisure.
"All things are to be done in moderation." Rule of Benedict 48.9

Peace

To strive for peace on all levels: with self, others, and God. Rule of Benedict Prologue

Respect for persons

To respect each person regardless of class, cultural background, or professional skill.
"No one is to pursue what is judged best for oneself, but instead, what is better for someone else." Rule of Benedict 72.7

Stability

To cultivate rootedness and a shared sense of mission.
"To stand firm in one's promises." Rule of Benedict 58

Stewardship

To appreciate and to care lovingly for all the goods of this place.
"Regard all utensils as if they were the sacred vessels of the altar." Rule of Benedict 31.10 

The second father I come to, is our Holy Father and spiritual guide for our Church (and he happens to have taken the name Benedict as well, go figure!)  He gifted us with a great teaching document, Caritas in Veritatis,  the theme of which is found in modern catholic social teachings. 

( see:http://www.vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/encyclicals/documents/hf_ben-xvi_enc_20090629_caritas-in-veritate_en.html)

These principles lay out how to create a just society and how to live a holy life. In this latest document our Pope points to another great father, who penned Humanae Vitae, the late Great Pope John Paul II,  “The Church forcefully maintains this link between life ethics and social ethics, fully aware that “a society lacks solid foundations when, on the one hand, it asserts values such as the dignity of the person, justice and peace, but then, on the other hand, radically acts to the contrary by allowing or tolerating a variety of ways in which human life is devalued and violated, especially where it is weak or marginalized.”

(A great reflection on Catholic Social Teachigs can be found at this link: http://www.usccb.org/beliefs-and-teachings/what-we-believe/catholic-social-teaching/seven-themes-of-catholic-social-teaching.cfm)
 

In his writing Pope Benedict underscores the idea that a great and just society is one based on openess to life. 

So, for me, Holy Father Benedict from the early church days is an excellent starting point and the Church’s Social teachings of the 21^st  century are great too , but the ultimate resource is our Holy and Living Word, which according to Christian belief pre-existed all human existance. The Eternal Word.  In Scriptures we are taught by our Eternal Father himself what we are to value most of all: love God and love your neighbor as yourself. This is the foundation for every other value.  It forms the basis for the Catholic Social Teaching, St. Benedict’s rule and Pope Benedict XVI’s writings.

Using these underpinnings I now have a strategy and a clarity in how I am able to discern who I will vote for.

I empathsize with how difficult making an informed decision can be when we are daily being distracted by ideologs and ideologies screaming and yelling, all caps in social media forums, most grounded in some kind of fear, hate, power or greed.  Yes, it does take work and good research and deep reflection and ofcourse, prayer.

We must learn to reflect on what do we value most and WHO best reflects those values?  I recommend that we find a way to help us reflect on the important issues of life and a just society.  Let’s not depend on the TV or the social media crowd to bully or scare us into making our decision.

Also, lets talk with our children about it at the dinner table or in the car on the way to an activity.  It’s never too young to teach them how to debate these important issues without talking down to one another.  As Catholic parents we have a responsibility to vote but also to instruct our children how to be good, loving and critical listeners founded in what our faith teaches.  We must also show them how to rely on our Christian values that can shape the kind of world they will create. 

Now what I do suggest  is that we be kind to one another, let's not inflame the rhetoric by buying into the yelling and crazy talk, I suggest we listen critically to all sides, let's do some research, and then vote with a well formed Catholic conscience!