Ignatian prayer


An Ignatian
Prayer....

Lord, teach me to be
generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count
the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek
rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do
your will.


Sunday, April 22, 2012

"Of this we are witnesses"


Today at Mass a phrase stood out for me:

The author of life you put to death, but God raised him from the dead; of this we are witnesses.”

And in the gospel, I heard Luke recount how Jesus made himself known to his disciples after his resurrection; how Jesus opened their minds to the scriptures and made them realize that “You are witnesses of these things." It all came together for them after a resurrected Jesus appeared to them through their sharing a meal in this story from the book of Luke. It was an intimate encounter with the risen Lord that allowed them to accept the truth of what the Lord had been preparing them for all along.

The story of Luke tells us how the disciples had been questioning. I imagine that they, like me, would have been wondering, “Now what?” ….“What does this all mean?”

You see, I too question God. Today’s readings challenged me to not only remember God’s mercy and the sacrifice that his son made for me but to examine how different my life would be without having the grace of realization that Jesus Christ is alive and active in my life today.

Three Saturday’s ago at sundown our Christian community assembled outside the church doors. The sky was becoming dusky and a wind was whipping up the flames in the fire pit outside. As the fire was blessed, the Pascal candle was processed inside and I thought of all the winds in my life that had me drifting from one truth-ism to the other. The world offers me lots of truth-isms. They come in the form of attractions that are initially appealing but have little depth. After encountering these false gods, I was always left feeling empty and spiritually unsettled, until one day many years ago I encountered Him. And at times I wonder….now what? What does this all mean?

Having made the light holy, our diverse community  entered into a darkened church together. Stumbling to find seats, we all held small candles that were being lit one by one, from the large Pascal candle. We each passed along our light, until in a few minutes the darkened room was glowing from the light emanated by all our little candles. I remembered the darkness I had been living in, darkness that I was not aware of, because I had become accustomed to my limited perception of truth. This night I was witnessing the symbolic sharing of the light of Christ, given to each one of us through our baptism.

The author of life you put to death, but God raised him from the dead; of this we are witnesses.”

Our candles were then extinguished and we heard many reading from the Old Testament, we retold our creation story, we heard of Abraham's obedience, of the Red Sea crossing, I reflected on how God had been actively pursuing all of us since the very beginning of time. We listened to how throughout all of those years, God's chosen people sustained themselves on God’s word and promise and how God faithfully brought them out of slavery. Yes, I too had been a slave to a darkened world. My own story of salvation is very similar and I couldn’t help but feel my heart wanting to burst out in joy for how the Lord had rescued me. Lord, you did this all for me? How wonderful is our God! As I reflected on this, the great Gloria is sung. The lights are brought on. The larger than life wooden resurrected Christ hanging in our sanctuary becomes a focal point, a reminder of a miracle that came to be so many years ago.  It hangs joyfully over our altar, where our Lord willingly makes himself the sacrificial lamb of God, once and for all of eternity.   We anticipate sharing in this mystical meal, where we too can be transformed.  The sanctuary had been bare for a week, we now see surrounded by all kinds of beautiful springtime flowers, bells are rung and all of us rejoice, throughout the entire world all the people of God rejoice. Yes, how great is our God!

The author of life you put to death, but God raised him from the dead; of this we are witnesses.”

Then our focus shifted to the blessing of the water in the baptismal font. Now we prepare to witness many individuals who after a significant amount of time in discernment, prayer, and study came forth publicly desiring to become baptized in the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. The church choir sings Alleluia out loud after each immersion. After which they were presented with their own Easter candle, a reminder to them of their individual acceptance to become witnesses to the light of Christ in all they do and say. The assembly gathered joyfully, we all were watching a spiritual dying to an old way and a rebirth to a new creation, it was exhilarating! I also recalled my own moment when I, as an adult took my faith as my own and felt blessed to stand and be welcomed among the people of our church, strengthened by thier own resurrection stories.

The author of life you put to death, but God raised him from the dead; of this we are witnesses.”
Finally we all gathered around the altar table where we prepared to share in a spiritual banquet and to worship our God as he transforms the simple elements of bread and wine into his body and blood. This part of the liturgy is the summit of our faith.  Being baptized as a Christian we are committed to do what Jesus commanded.

In my own spiritual transformation, I recall the Eucharistic mystery being the one I struggled with the most. How could this be true; Jesus truly present in the form of bread and wine? Until one day the scriptures were opened to me and I read "I tell you the truth, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink his blood, you have no life in you.” (Jn 6:53)
I continued to read, I saw that many of his followers struggled too, they walked away.  I had been one of those disciples who walked away from this truth; it was just too incredible to bear. How different my faith is today, due to my own encounter with my resurrected Lord many years ago. Today I believe and accept this mystery, like Peter I realized that there is no one else who speaks truth, He is the One. Quietly I prepare my heart in order to receive Christ in this Eucharistic feast, thankful of His mercy.

Today on the third Sunday of Easter, I became more deeply aware and thankful that the author of life, whom I put to death, was raised by the Father on the third day will never abandon me. I am a witness to of all these things that Jesus did for me. God is love.

"Thus it is written that the Christ would suffer and rise from the dead on the third day and that repentance, for the forgiveness of sins, would be preached in his name to all the nations, beginning from Jerusalem. You are witnesses of these things."
We continue to celebrate Easter, our church embraces this season until May 27th when we celebrate the Feast of Pentecost....until then, let us not be troubled....we have encountered him. Glory be to God!

Friday, April 6, 2012

End of Lent -Still Praying

Last night my family gathered with my parish family to commemorate the end of Lent as we read publicly and reenacted what our Bible tells us what a very special Passover night (Luke 22:7-20) .  Jesus had his final meal with his closest companions and prepared them for his death and resurrection.  As Christians, we interpret this night as the night when Jesus instituted the New Covenant.

When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God. After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, "Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes….And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.

Early Christians understood this as an important sign of communion among believers and for over 2000 years many of us have faithfully continued this tradition, taking Jesus at his word, that is, that our bread and wine truly become his body and blood. How many times have I rejected this reality by not properly preparing my heart and mind to share in this mystical meal? How many times have I rejected my brother’s or sister’s pain or denied God's will for me and gathered around this table unworthily, as Judas did?  Lord, help me to be aware of my sins of omission, I prayed.

On this night we remember how Jesus told Peter that he would deny knowing Jesus three times. (Lk 22:31-34) How many times have I been like Peter? And yet, Peter went on to lead the early Christian community.  Peter’s weakness and sense of not being ready to lead others in the Christian faith gives me hope.  Lord, help me to be mindful of how easy it is for me to reject you when I fear that my identity as a Catholic may make me uncomfortable, to be unpopular or cause me to lose favor among others. Help me to realize that you don't "call the qualified, but qualify the called."

Last night our Pastor stooped to wash the feet of twelve of our parishioners, (Jn 13: 1-17) in doing so, reenacted what Jesus did on this night many years before.  I studied the faces of those who had been chosen, some were moved to tears, and others silently and prayerfully sat as our spiritual leader poured water and dried their feet.  I was filled with sadness as I thought “How many times have I wanted to be served, instead of serving? How many times have I tried to justify what I do out of selfishness by saying “this is what I think is best”? In this re enactment I am reminded that I must work in communion with others and I must be willing to let go of my comfortable lifestyle for the sake of building up God’s kingdom. How difficult this is for me, to let go of my pride in order to be obedient to God. I prayed for God’s mercy.

Last night, as I sat in our pew and prayed, I looked around and saw people filling up our temple space.  Many had to stand around the back walls because we did not have enough room to sit all who came.  Such a diverse community and yet here we all gathered on this night, to remember and to worship such a merciful God. None of us are worthy but I would venture to say that we all gathered because we are all thankful for such a loving God. Last night, I prayed for more faith.


"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Hebrews 11:6