“When the hour came, Jesus and his apostles reclined at the table. And he said to them, I have eagerly desired to eat this Passover with you before I suffer. For I tell you, I will not eat it again until it finds fulfillment in the kingdom of God. After taking the cup, he gave thanks and said, "Take this and divide it among you. For I tell you I will not drink again of the fruit of the vine until the kingdom of God comes….And he took bread, gave thanks and broke it, and gave it to them, saying, "This is my body given for you; do this in remembrance of me." In the same way, after the supper he took the cup, saying, "This cup is the new covenant in my blood, which is poured out for you.
Early Christians understood this as an important sign of communion among believers and for over 2000 years many of us have faithfully continued this tradition, taking Jesus at his word, that is, that our bread and wine truly become his body and blood. How many times have I rejected this reality by not properly preparing my heart and mind to share in this mystical meal? How many times have I rejected my brother’s or sister’s pain or denied God's will for me and gathered around this table unworthily, as Judas did? Lord, help me to be aware of my sins of omission, I prayed.
On this night we remember how Jesus told Peter that he would deny knowing Jesus three times. (Lk 22:31-34) How many times have I been like Peter? And yet, Peter went on to lead the early Christian community. Peter’s weakness and sense of not being ready to lead others in the Christian faith gives me hope. Lord, help me to be mindful of how easy it is for me to reject you when I fear that my identity as a Catholic may make me uncomfortable, to be unpopular or cause me to lose favor among others. Help me to realize that you don't "call the qualified, but qualify the called."
Last night our Pastor stooped to wash the feet of twelve of our parishioners, (Jn 13: 1-17) in doing so, reenacted what Jesus did on this night many years before. I studied the faces of those who had been chosen, some were moved to tears, and others silently and prayerfully sat as our spiritual leader poured water and dried their feet. I was filled with sadness as I thought “How many times have I wanted to be served, instead of serving? How many times have I tried to justify what I do out of selfishness by saying “this is what I think is best”? In this re enactment I am reminded that I must work in communion with others and I must be willing to let go of my comfortable lifestyle for the sake of building up God’s kingdom. How difficult this is for me, to let go of my pride in order to be obedient to God. I prayed for God’s mercy.
Last night, as I sat in our pew and prayed, I looked around and saw people filling up our temple space. Many had to stand around the back walls because we did not have enough room to sit all who came. Such a diverse community and yet here we all gathered on this night, to remember and to worship such a merciful God. None of us are worthy but I would venture to say that we all gathered because we are all thankful for such a loving God. Last night, I prayed for more faith.
"But without faith it is impossible to please him: for he that cometh to God must believe that he is, and that he is a rewarder of them that diligently seek him."
Hebrews 11:6
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