Tonight I lit a candle....

My abuela Carmen used to tell me about the shining stars in the night sky of her mountain village of Potes, the place where she was born in 1903.

“never again will I see brighter stars than the ones I used to see in my sky as a child in Espana” she would say to me in her room during those evenings when she was preparing to say her evening prayers. The tone she used in her voice would make me realize that the image she was reliving was deeply missed and a cherished one that she wanted to pass on to me.

I tried hard to imagine what that might have been like; that image she was describing suspended so concretely in her minds eye. Her childhood’s starry nights could not have been any brighter or any closer to the heavens as hers. She wanted to make sure I understood that.

My grandmother and I grew up in a contrasting time and place. What was consistent between us was our dedication to educate and raise morally good children, try hard to live a good life and our desire to worship and love God.

I was born well into the 20th century in a tropical and then progressive and cosmopolitan city, just 23 degrees north of the equator. At the time of my birth, Havana had seen centuries of colonialism by the Spanish, then Cuba became independent, followed by a rapid progress into the 20th century; its citizens had enjoyed a most progressive place up until the time I came to be. It had been a country where steam engines debuted in the island at about the same time they did in the U.S., in the mid 20th century, color TV debuted first in the island before it did in the states, fashion trends catered to the Parisian industry, doctors flocked to further their specialties in modern labs, bright university professors lectured in impressively old neo-classical buildings and the construction industry had begun to re-surge with an innovative style of buildings that became known as the International style.

My abuela Carmen had immigrated to this island in her teens, following her entrepreneurial older brother, Tio Pepe. This is how I ended up being born of her son’s wife, in Cuba and not in Spain.

All this good progress brought artificial light to our surroundings, available at all times, to even the most remote areas. It is no wonder abuela Carmen was never to see “such clear and bright stars” in the same way again. I rarely look or think of the night sky and become inspired the way she obviously did.

My abuela’s family stone home still sits next to a running stream, today there is electricity, but there was none when she lived there. She depended on the moon and stars for light and for direction at night. For her the night sky beckoned the seasons, the passage of time, and was a constant source of awe and wonder.

Why do I write about this? Because tonight I lit my advent candle and reflected on its’ meaning.  It came to me that such a lonely flame on my dining table has lost its significance with my day to day life. Sure, it’s pretty, but it has competition! It is not the only source of light in my home. We don’t depend on a flame like my grandmother might have in her home. For her, a flame cooked her families’ meals, warmed their beds, sanitized their clothes, and provided them security during the darkened moments of the year. They had to work to keep the flame going.

I think my abuela may have had a clearer notion of what lighting a candle really stands for. She was more in touch with the mystery and struggle of life than I am.

As I helped my son light the match in order to light our candle, for an instant, I found myself sitting on her bed after dinner time like old times, abuela already settled into squeaky aluminum rocking chair, black rosary beads in her hand. She was reminding me again of the closeness and brightness of those stars in the night sky. She took me back to her childhood once again, in my mind, I pictured her old rustic Spanish tiled house tucked away high in the mountains enveloped by a very starry bright night. I became thankful of all the blessings that God had bestowed on my abuela and through her, onto us. Tonight I prayed that I would be as in touch with God, with the stars, and the reverence and the mystery of life as she was. She wanted to pass this onto me. Tonight I want to pass this onto my child. This is what this candle stands for tonight.