Ignatian prayer


An Ignatian
Prayer....

Lord, teach me to be
generous.
Teach me to serve you as you deserve,
to give and not to count
the cost,
to fight and not to heed the wounds,
to toil and not to seek
rest,
to labor and not to ask for reward,
save that of knowing that I do
your will.


Sunday, October 14, 2012

Parking lot conversations


The parking lot is full of cars for the afternoon Spanish Mass. Zac and I make our way towards my office on the other side of the campus where we parked when we got there at 8:30 that morning. It’s been a long and fulfilling day.  We’re both hungry and ready for a lunch break. We started with morning Mass with the whole family, today Zac served as Cross bearer. After Mass he joins Mr. David Smith’s 5th grade class and his older sister Catie who is a co- catechist.  He serves as their aide. This year Mr. Smith is experimenting with a new product that my team and I are considering using in our curriculum, so there is an unexpected fun aspect to the lesson plans that he has not experienced before. He loves going to this class.

My daughter Catie has taken a more active lead role this year. The fact that she is sharing herself with this class makes me smile.  Mr. Smith has mentored her for a few years now. She has been helping in catechism classes since she was in 4th grade. This is who she is: someone who gently makes her way through our community, leaving deep prints in the hearts of many young kids and adults she has assisted. The deepest of which, I am sure, is the imprint she has made (and continues to make) on her little brother.

Finally, noon comes and Zac goes to his next class; his own 6th grade Faith Formation group. His teacher is a young, new catechist.  Her name is Ms. Rachel.  He seems to really enjoy that class and this is usually the topic our conversation each Sunday as he and I slowly trek back to our car.

Usually our conversation goes something like:

Me: How was class today?

Him: hmmmm…Good.

Me: What did you talk about?

Him: Silence…..More Silence……

Him(finally): …. about a camel and the eye of a needle, but I have a question……

He always has questions.  We talk about the spiritual meaning behind the literal messages he heard.  This is the moment in my day when I can put my “mommy hat” back on. It’s been a constant day of moving from one issue to the next for me, answering various administrative needs, being present to catechists, to families in need. I can be mom to my son now…this interchange brings me peace.   I allow the peaceful silence to be part of the discussion. He needs time to form his thoughts. He is processing deep insights. Meanwhile, I am putting aside the problems I could not resolve today. I realize I can handle them tomorrow. I try not thinking of the things I need to do when we get home. Right at that moment I am just walking through a parking lot with my son and being present to his questioning heart.   This is what our faith is about…searching for answers. Our search will always yield more questions.  God is usually found in the silence. Our heart desires silence. Can we find answers in a silent walk through a parking lot?  We try.  And we walk. I resist giving him quick answers or helping him form his questions.  He struggles to share his concepts, but when he finally does, I admire his ability to make certain connections and ask more questions.

These Sunday experiences form our own mother-son faith stories. I am so thankful for these parking lot conversations and how they are such a meaningful transition in my day.

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